Two more days

I feel like my life is a stop watch; tick, tock, tick, tock.

It has been 2 months and one day since I miscarried. There is not a day that goes by, that I don't think about, dream about, our baby we lost. I would be 4 months pregnant by now. We would know by now if little Baby Bruner was a boy or a girl. My bump would be starting to show... Sometimes I'm sad, and sometimes I'm just angry. I know its not right to be angry with God, but I don't understand why he gave us this obstacle. Maybe one day I will understand.

I pray all the time that God will please give us a little bundle of joy. Trevor and I are both hard working, loving people. We have a roof over our heads, a strong partnership, successful careers and amazing families... everything a baby would need to be happy. Just yesterday we spent the day at Disneyland with our little nephew Christopher. I couldn't help but see the future. Trevor walked around the park with little Christopher on his shoulders, I took him to the pond to throw pennies and make wishes, little Christopher snuggled up on Trevor's lap during the Disney Sing Along performance, and we held hands to meet Chip & Dale, and Woody. It truly was such a beautiful and wonderful day. I love Christopher so much, and I can't wait to give him little cousins to play with.

Our Little Nephew Christopher, after a long day at Disneyland

As Trevor's Aunt said... "Best seat in the house"

In just 2 more days, I am supposed to start my second period after our miscarriage. Our Dr. had told us that we can start trying after two periods to give my body time to heal. This waiting game is torture... but I better get used to it. We will be officially trying to make a baby after this period. Based on my ovulation app. I will be ovulating on the 21st of this month. 21- this is my lucky number....my retired basketball jersey number! Hopefully this means this will be the month <3 Until then I will be dreaming a little dream of you (baby bruner).